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A bunch of whimsical short stories with forumers as characters

Discussion in 'Everything Else!' started by Jaxx, Jul 2, 2016.

  1. Jaxx

    Jaxx Insignificant Person

    Edmonton, Canada
    The Nekofleetz
    Well... I needed something to try and get back into my rhythm... Been way too long since I wrote anything.

    Anyways, good to see you all, Jaxx here, the other, less active, less well-known and less skilled Soccer Spirits fanfiction writer. (Actually, I'm more active than FaiFai, but I'm running under the assumption that he's dead... at least to SSF).

    Anyways, here's a few stories I pretty much wrote on the spot.

    Iados liked his sleep.

    He liked it more than anything else.

    Yes, it might have been the cause of his relatively weak body.

    Yes, it might have made him less productive.

    But, as he put it: "I don't give a flying fuck."

    And so, Iados spent sixteen hours of his day asleep, eight hours at night, eight hours more whenever he liked.

    Sometimes he wished he could stay asleep forever.

    There was actually only one thing that was in the way of this plan of his...

    Iados opened his eyes.

    What woke him up wasn't the sound of his alarm clock in max volume.

    It wasn't his phone ringing nonstop.

    It wasn't even his brain telling him he needed to pee.

    No, what woke him up was-


    Iados glanced at the woman standing over him.

    To this day, he was unsure whether her hair was white or a very bright blonde. What he was sure about was how he loved that ponytail, and the purple tips were absolutely charming. The next thing to catch his attention was her soft, white skin, and of course that fabulous one-piece dress, how she manages to put that thing on when it doesn't have a single zipper on it, he had no idea, nor did he have a clue on how to take it off.

    But what made him truly curious was why an archangel of Heaven would wear a skirt THAT short.

    Iados would never understand.

    He looked into her eyes, those twin violet orbs were so charming...

    Oh! If only they weren't telling him to get up.

    He shut his eyes once more.

    "Five more-"


    "C'mon Urie, just five more-"

    Before he finished his sentence, Iados felt a small tug on his shirt.

    With a single, siwft movement, Iados found himself a few centimeters above the ground.


    He peeked at her eyes again.

    They were as stern as ever.

    Iados sighed.

    As the archangel put him back on the ground Iados once again began another boring day.

    In fear of angering senpai, I tried to make Bora's description as detailed as possible... Not sure it was the right call.

    Nawz wasn't exactly a humble person.

    Actually, let's be honest here.

    He was a fucking narcissist.

    No, that term did no justice to his narcissism.

    He was, without a doubt, a Nawzissist.

    But he couldn't help it. He was kind, funny, lead the best club evar, humble, extremely smart, good at making signatures and the best husbando you could ever ask for.

    But even then, that didn't change the fact he was extremely Nawzissistic.

    So surely, no one could blame him for forgetting Iados' sig update he promised almost two weeks ago right?



    The sound of his enraged kouhai echoed throughout the forums.

    Nawz emerged from the lounge, running towards his ship at full speed.

    In his arms, he carried a girl by the age of seventeen.

    Her long black hair flowed behind Nawz, catching the attention of many passerby... But then again, everyone was already looking at her. Not only wa she pretty, many of her features were... unusual, to say the least. First of all was her clothing, her top-half wasn't much, in fact, if I said it was a large handkerchief tied around her neck and reaching under her chest, it would be... pretty accurate actually, whether she was wearing a crop top r a bra was debatable though. Her skirt was short, tight, and honestly a bit small, covering her front half, while her shorts covered her back half...

    The second thing that caught people's attention were her eyes, one was a normal brown, but the other shined a bright red, blinding anyone who looked into it for too long. And then there was her chest....



    Let's stop here before Nawz kills me.

    "Nawz, let me down!" Bora had one arm around Nawz's neck, while the other extended outwards, a fireball in hand.

    "Your junior needs to be taught about the consequences of ruining tea time."

    "Bora my dear," Nawz said, "it's not that I doubt that you would be able to punish my kouhai perfectly, without being lacking or excessive, but please do note that we," he pointed to himself and Bora "are two people, albeit almost perfect ones, and they" he pointed towards Iados and his players, "are two Legends and two archangels.... and my scrub kouhai."

    "Senpai, come on," Iados said, "it's been two weeks! All I asked was that you removed the names and switched Lynia with Lukia!"

    "Do you know how long it takes to make a sig Jaxx!?"


    "It was your birthday! I was in a good mood!"


    Shaking his head, Iados turned to the two on his right.

    "Vonchi, charge after senpai! Mikael, do that kamehaeha thing!"

    "It's called Holy Implosion!"

    Mikael paused, his hair turning yellow as he cupped his hands, forming a ball of dense Holy Power.

    Nawz felt himself being sucked in.

    "Oh crap."

    Bora let out a "Tsk."

    "That's not the only problem."

    Bora raised her fireball, preparing to launch it,

    Senpai I swear, if you don't give me that sig update y the time I feel like writing again, I will make this a Bad End...

    Don't make me do this senpai ;w;

    "Does anyone wanna play CAH?"

    As soon as Nawz said that, the entire lounge their ears up.

    "... Well, it's not like there's anything better to do." said Para.

    "Quack Quack Quack, Quack Quack. Quack Quack!" followed Quackip, as he lay down on the sofa.

    Duckiee nodded.

    "I think I'm with Quackip on this one. I'm gonna go take a nap."

    "Well," said Nawz, "anyone else? Xuda, perhaps?"

    From his corner of the room, Xuda lifted a seies of NekoPara signs.

    "Well, if Adux is going, so am I." said the little girl sitting next to him.

    Nawz clapped his hands, "I'll go make a room then."

    "Wait," said Para, "What about our kouhai Iados? Remember the last time we didn't let him play? The kid went berserk."

    "Quack!", said Quackip.

    "Quack Quack Quack, Quack Quack Quack Quack, Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack!"

    A long pause followed.

    "Well?" asked the little girl. "Duckiee, what did he say?"

    "Oh. Yeah. No one here speaks duck."

    "Something about napping back in his ship again, Uriel's apparently too busy doing paperwork to wake him up."

    "Well... Poor kouhai then."

    "Poor Lados, can't even wake up for Cards Against Humanity."

    Xuda lifted a sad NekoPara emoji sign.

    Para shrugged as he followed the rest out of the room.

    "Don't worry, we won't tell him."

    "Quack Quack!" Quackip raised a thumb.

    A few minutes later...

    Iados descended from the heavens...

    "Yo guys, what did I miss?"

    "Nothing really."

    Bonus points to anyone who can tell me who the Little Girl is.

    Also, sorry if this offended Quackip or anyone else.

    List of fanfics:
    Self Insert
    Senpai Sig fanfic
    Random CAH fanfic
    The Recruitment Part 1: Stingy Jack

    Transformer Spirits- "Torn Heaven" Trailer

    I haven't made any new fanfics yet, but I'm currently working on one about Raklet fisting Nute's shields.
    Last edited: Mar 30, 2017
    Abcidee, Ozuros and Xetael like this.
  2. Jaxx

    Jaxx Insignificant Person

    Edmonton, Canada
    The Nekofleetz
    Senpai maded me a sig! Yay!

    Bora prepared to launch her fireball at the incoming Vonchi.

    Mikael felt the holy power in his hand about to burst at any moment.

    In between the two, Vonchi sighed- maybe he should've just taken Milky Way duty today.

    Nawz let out a 'tsk' as he tipped his admiral hat, fully prepared to open up a can of whoopass.

    However, before all Hell was about to break loose-

    "What the Hell is going on here?"

    From deep within the forums, a voice resounded.

    Bora retracted her fireball, her arms now wrapped around Nawzu's neck, clinging for dear life.

    The ground shook once.

    Mikael's hair returned to its normal black as he retracted his holy power and leaped back to the group.

    The ground shook twice.

    Halting in their tracks, Iados, Khirel and Uriel felt a shiver go through their bodies.

    The ground shook thrice.

    Vonchi's mind went blank before he forced his legs to take him as far away as he possibly could.

    The ground shook a fourth time.

    Nawzu paused, a tinge of fear entering his systems.

    The ground continued to shake.

    Iados and his group slowly but surely began taking steps back, hoping to be able to hie themselves under the shadows.

    Nawz gently put his waifu down and turned towards the source of the noise.

    Uncaring of their reaction, the green giant continued to move. The giant was easily ten stories tall. Its dark scales were dry, not having felt water in years. Each of its massive legs were thicker than an elephant, each leg carrying enough weight to cause the ground under them to crack. On its mighty armored back was an ancient tree, its trunk as thick as two of the giant's legs, and its leaves large enough to carry men.

    But that was not what Nawz and Iados were staring at.

    With wide eyes, they stared at the man sitting on top of the head of the giant turtle.

    "... Daru."

    Hearing his name being called, the administrator looked down at the groups below him.

    "... Oh it's just you two."

    With an indifferent shrug, Darulos directed his giant turtle away, back into his homeland.

    Much time passed before the shaking subsided, at which point Vonchi returned.

    As soon as they were sure that the administrator was gone, the two groups let out a collective sigh of relief.

    "That was close..."

    "... Too close, actually."

    Iados met Nawzu's gaze.

    He found it difficult to regain his lost fit of rage.

    Before he could say something, Nawz raised a hand and pulled out-


    Iados paused and stared at it in amazement.

    "Senpai! You... You made it!'

    Nawz nodded as he passed it to his kouhai.

    With an annoyed huff, Bora turned her head to the side.

    "He was planning to give it to you earlier... But then you decided to just come out of nowhere and try to kick us in the face."

    From behind Iados, Uriel sighed.

    "Forgive him for that, Iados tends to run on impulses."

    "I'm not as concerned with him as I am concerned with you four. What drove the King of the elves, two of Heaven's archangels and Vonchi into this madness?"

    "We tried talking some sense into him." Khirel sighed. "Didn't work, so Uriel and I decided to follow him to stop the kid from causing too much damage."

    Vonchi would've scratched the back of his head if his hands worked.

    "Kid wouldn't let me say no, so I pretty much didn't ave a choice."

    Bora turned to Mikael.

    "And you?"

    Mikael shook his head. "Let's not talk about it."

    "He blackmailed him with-"

    "Shut up Armless the Hedgehog."

    Ignoring the surrounding discussion, Iados scratched his cheek.

    "Well... This is awkward."

    "Yes," Nawz replied, "yes it is."

    "So... I guess I owe you?"


    A thousand ideas came into Nawz's head.

    He glanced at Bora beside him.

    "... Dear, would you mind asking Elizabeth what's the most expensive tea in Nadir?"

    And so began their trip to find the most expensive tea in the multiverse.
    Last edited: Jul 4, 2016
  3. Jaxx

    Jaxx Insignificant Person

    Edmonton, Canada
    The Nekofleetz
    Well, ever since my good friend @Unknowned wrote all those fanfics, I thought to myself that maybe it's time I got back into shape and try to write again... So here's my attempt at another writing session.

    @2D-kun because you asked.

    @Kyoko Hitaka because pumpkins.

    It was another afternoon. Another very boring afternoon.

    Well, to call it afternoon wouldn't be exactly correct. As far as Iados was concerned, the sky was black and covered in stars, galaxies and all sorts of celestial bodies. But the sky was always like that, default for a guy travelling between worlds.

    But, as far as his clock was concerned, it was afternoon. Not like Iados cared. If it was up to him, he would be back on his bed, asleep for the next few days.

    Sadly, it wasn't up to him. He might have been captain of a ship that could travel between Star Systems, but he had his own superiors.

    Taking a break from the mountain of paperwork on his desk, Iados stretched his back, groaning. Despite his opinion of separating business and pleasure, he decided to make his own room his office. His excuse?

    "I don't wanna take a step outside unless absolutely necessary."

    On one wall was his bed, on the opposite wall, closer to the door, was a large, round table (which he called his desk), and the mountain of paperwork on top of it. There was a clock hanging on the wall, a window next to his desk where he could just stare at the stars whenever he wanted, and a drawer next to his bed where he kept all of his important things... Oh, and the bathroom door.

    That was his room and office. Slightly messy, but it had so little things inside of it that he could find anything important with a short five minute search. Hell if it was up to him, he'd remove the desk all together and just sleep all day.

    That was of course, something he absolutely could not do. Not with Uriel around him. And unfortunately, as long as he wasn't asleep, Uriel was around him for a good chunk of his day.

    Hell, she was here right now.

    Across from Iados, Uriel sat on a chair, furiously reading through whatever paper she could get her hands on. It wasn't just her, around the round table, were three other chairs. To his left was another of the legendary Archangels, Mikael. To his right was Khirel, the young elven king of Nadir. Both of which, were also dealing with paperwork. In between Uriel and Mikael was an empty seat, reserved for the fifth and final member of what Iados liked to call his "Four Horsemen".

    Did I forget to mention that all of this paperwork was Iados' and not their's?

    As his groan resounded throughout the room, Iados complained.

    "Why must we deal with so much paperwork?"

    In almost perfect unison, three pairs of eyes turned to Iados.

    Uriel was normally serious, but at the moment, her voice was colder than usual.

    "Must we remind you that this is all YOUR paperwork, Iados?"

    Khirel let out a low growl.

    "If you wouldn't spend so much of your time sleeping, boy, there wouldn't be this much paperwork! Who in the name of God spends a whole SIX months asleep?"

    "Sick people.", Iados replied.

    Uriel shook her head, turning back to her papers.

    "You may have a near constant cough, captain, but I know a healthy person when I see one."

    "If you want us to take finish this mountain of wasted trees quickly," Mikael said, "why not call Cynthia?"

    Iados wagged his finger at him.

    "Oooohhhh, no. You aren't getting out of paperwork duty today. We had an agreement remember? We need at least one person out there keeping watch over the rest of the team. It's Cynthia's turn today, Mikki."

    Not able to do anything but sigh, Mikael turned his attention to his papers.

    And so, three of the most powerful people in the Galaxy (and Iados) returned to reading through papers, signing them, sorting them, and throwing them in the trash, as a number of them were already looong past their due date.

    They would have spent their entire day like that too.

    Had Cynthia not come through the door moments later, envelope in hand.

    "Who's Stingy Jack?"

    As soon as that question was thrown into the air, the two Archangels reacted strangely. Uriel's usually serious facade shifted, respect, disgust, and other mixed emotions could be seen on her usually expressionless face. The other archangel's reaction, however was more straightforward.

    Mikael's face warped into a terrible scowl, filled with disdain and disgust. Small traces of holy energy began leaking from him as his hair turned from its usual black to a light brown.

    "A scoundrel," he said, "a scoundrel and a liar. A person so lowly, so dishonorable and so dishonest that not even Hell will take him in."

    Cynthia was surprised, she had never heard Mikael insult someone so vulgarly before.

    "I sense a story here.", said Khirel, turning to Uriel for an answer.

    She sighed, but before she could say anything, Iados motioned his hand.

    "Would you mind if I explain, Lady Uriel?"

    Uriel shook her head, an amused smirk on her face.

    "No, I don't mind. If you wish to tell this old story so much, then go ahead."

    With a smile on his face, Iados stood.

    "Cynthi, have you ever wondered why we humans put up Jack o' Lanterns for Halloween?"

    Cynthia took her seat, expecting a long story.

    "No, I thought it was just something fun people liked to do every Halloween."

    "Well, dear Cynthi," Iados walked around, beginning his story, "there's more to it than that."

    Mikael groaned.

    "Please, no more story time."

    Iados continued as if Mikael had never spoken.

    "A long time ago there was a man everyone liked to call Stingy Jack. He was a really old drunk, and loved to play pranks on anyone and everyone, as if he was still a kid.

    "Of course, every old man had to die eventually. Doubly so for Stingy Jack, who was also, a drunkard. He knew his time was coming soon... But the old man, like every person who wants nothing but drink and prank their entire lives didn't like that.

    "And so it happened, that Jack happened to find the Devil in a local pub-"


    "What is it Cynthi?"

    "Why and how is the Devil in a pub?"

    "Collecting souls, most likely," said Uriel, "a surprising amount of people died due to fights, drinking and disease in the old times."

    "Actually," said Khirel, "even now, it isn't as uncommon as you think."

    "Ahhh, the Nadir, home to some of the best assassins in the universe, and some of the worst politics in the multiverse. Not even my Minerva is worthy to such a bold claim."

    "Amen to that Cynthi, amen to that... Anyways, back to the story!

    "So, there he was, in the pub, with the Devil. And suddenly, he had an idea. It was risky, and honestly kinda stupid... But he was going to die anyways, so he might as well give it a shot.

    "Turning to the Devil, he offered his soul... In exchange for a cup of beer. Or whatever. I don't know what people drank back then.

    "Believing himself to be dealing with a senile old drunkard and having spent the last few hundred years watching humanity's IQ getting lower because of certain reasons-"

    "The Dark Ages happened.", Mikael whispered to Cynthia, who nodded in understanding.

    "- The Devil thought to himself 'Wow, what an idiot.' and turned himself into a coin to pay for the drink.



    "To plan.

    "With reflexes old drunkards like him shouldn't have, he grabbed the coin and stuffed the Devil into his pocket, where he had a cross, like every old man of his time."

    "Finding out he was tricked, the Devil was angry, throwing all sorts of insults at the old man, threatening to drag him to the depths of Hell.

    "Stingy Jack however, refused to let the Devil out until he agreed to give him ten years where the Devil wouldn't bother him.

    "And so, Stingy Jack bought himself ten years worth of time where he didn't die. Any questions before I continue Cynth?"


    "What about Khirel?"

    "We ARE talking about the Devil? The guy who, according to the stories, betrayed God? Why didn't he just kill Jack then and there?"

    Iados found himself silent.

    "The Devil was an angel once," Uriel said, explaining in Iados' behalf, "so he's bound by the same rules as we are... to an extent."

    Iados smiled

    "Thank you, Lady Uriel.

    "So, ten years later, the Devil arrives, demanding the payment that Stingy Jack promised him, all those many years ago.

    "Stingy Jack thought fast... And his fell on Apple tree.

    "Voila, he had an idea, again. The cunning bastard.

    "He pointed to the tree and said, 'I'll go, but before I do, will you get me an apple from that tree?'

    "The Devil, thinking he had nothing to lose, went ahead and picked an apple from the tree.

    "At that moment, Stingy Jack ran. He ran with speeds that could give Vonchi himself a run for his money. His old legs, for one short moment, exceeded the limits his old, drunkard body should have.

    "But he didn't run away.

    "Going around the tree, he planted crosses, EVERYWHERE. He surrounded the tree with so many crosses, the Devil couldn't even fly out of there.

    "Again, the Devil roared, and raged. Called him names. Devil stuff. This time, however, Stingy Jack didn't want just ten years. He made the Devil promise that he wouldn't take his soul, ever. Not before his death. Not during his death. And not after his death.

    "Begrudgingly, the Devil agreed.

    "And so came a time when the old man finally died, and he came to the gates of Heaven where..."

    Iados and Uriel glanced in Mikael's direction.

    Cynthia and Khirel could feel the holy energies around him getting denser.

    Mikael growled.

    "I told the bastard to fuck off."

    Iados laughed out loud.

    Cynthia gasped.

    Khirel's eyes widened.

    "Mikael," Uriel said, preparing her sermon, "we-"

    "No! I'll say it here, and I'll say it now."

    Mikael's hair turned a shining gold and his eyes turned a deadly red. His white wings burst out in full glory. The pent up holy energy burst out of him and, despite his status as an Archangel, he did nothing to hide the rage and disdain in his voice.

    "The man is an idiot. A fucking idiot, I tell you! He lived his life being a miserable, old drunk, accomplishing absolutely NOTHING at all. Yes, there were thousands like him, but not a single one of them were as dishonest, as dishonorable! No demon in Hell was even half the scoundrel he was! And he had the audacity to... to DEMAND entrance into HEAVEN?!"

    Mikael roared. The sound of his rage bursting out like holy thunder, like a choir of a thousand lions. His rage shook the insides of the ship like an earthquake. The surrounding members turned to Uriel, who could only shake her head.

    "I can't stop him when he's like this.", she said.

    "Just because he was smart enough to trick the Devil, doesn't give you the right to go through the Gates! The fucking asshat! He though, that because he was enough of a scoundrel to out-think the Devil, he could get into Heaven! By God's thousand names, that deed should deserve an entirely new level of Hell! But noooooooooo! Lucifer just had to be an idiot this one time! After all that plotting and betrayal he gets out-smarted by a drunk old man who just happens to see a tree in the nearby area!!! Seriously, I don't believe why he would be given the job of-"

    Uriel sighed. Enough of this charade.

    If they were there, all most people would see was a bright blue glow as Uriel unleashed a fistful of holy fire at Mikael's head.

    The raging archangel's body returned to normal as he fell unconscious, his body falling limp on his chair.

    Uriel sighed, the blue glow fading from her body. She walked through the room and opened the door.

    "I'll go check on everyone else, make sure no one got too injured... Especially Estella. Poor, poor Estella."

    She shut the door behind her, leaving Iados to an exasperated Khirel, and a slightly shaken Cynthia.

    "... So yeah," He said, "After Mikael's little outburst, Stingy Jack had no choice but to go to Hell's gates... But the Devil, bound by Divine Law, could not let him in.

    "And so, Stingy Jack, with nowhere to go, could do nothing but wander the world aimlessly, without a goal. Before leaving Hell's Gate however, he turned to the Devil and-

    "Let me guess," Khirel said, "he asked for a lantern."

    Iados smiled.

    "Not exactly... His exact request to the Devil was for something to light the way. The Devil, as a final gesture, grabbed an ember from the flames of Hell itself and tossed it at Stingy Jack, who put it into one of his favorite foods, a turnip... But turnips aren't exactly popular, so people decided to use pumpkins instead.

    "And that, King Khirel, Lady Cynthia, is why we make Jack O' Lanterns for Halloween."

    Shrugging, Iados' audience applauded politely.

    Khirel turned to the noble girl across him.

    "So... Why did you ask about him, Cynthia?"

    "Well... You see..." She glanced at the unconscious Mikael as she passed the envelope in her hand to Iados.

    Eyebrow raised, he read the inscription on it.

    To: Captain Iados Jaxx
    From: Stingy Jack

    His eyes widened.

    "... Mikael does not wake up without my say."


    Iados opened the envelope as CYnthia carried the unconscious archangel away.

    He read the contents.

    His eyes narrowed.

    He put down the envelope, eyes thoughtful.


    "Yes, boy?"

    "Have you ever heard of the name 'Aiolos'?"
    Abcidee and Xetael like this.
  4. Unknowned

    Unknowned The Part-time UnWhaler

    Mikki? Lmao that is golden XD.

    I can tell alot of effort was put in for this. Keep it up!
  5. Jaxx

    Jaxx Insignificant Person

    Edmonton, Canada
    The Nekofleetz
    I was writing while I was hungry.

    In fact I'm still hungry.
  6. Rynaki

    Rynaki The Nezzy Oracle

    Iron Canyons, Umbra
    Nawzy's Nekos
    ryn where
  7. Ozuros

    Ozuros "All you need is Hime" -Ozu 2017

  8. Ozuros

    Ozuros "All you need is Hime" -Ozu 2017

    I'm learning :O
  9. Xetael

    Xetael The Oblivious

    From my bed.....never mind I'm going back to sleep
    I don't see me here Jaxx chan, seem like you don't wana live anymore *sharpens his knife* /psh/
  10. Ozuros

    Ozuros "All you need is Hime" -Ozu 2017

    Pretty sure if you were in it, you'd still be sharpening your knife...
  11. Xetael

    Xetael The Oblivious

    From my bed.....never mind I'm going back to sleep
    Knifes were made to be sharpened!
  12. Ozuros

    Ozuros "All you need is Hime" -Ozu 2017

    Yes, but they're usually sharpened to fulfill their main purpose, which is to cut things like vegetables or the such.
  13. Xetael

    Xetael The Oblivious

    From my bed.....never mind I'm going back to sleep
    No ozu, people end up as vegetables after you cut them /psh/
  14. Jaxx

    Jaxx Insignificant Person

    Edmonton, Canada
    The Nekofleetz
    I actually have two stories in progress right now... lost motivation to continue writing them, so they're in a Word file until further notice.

    Speaking of whims, I'm in the mood to tag people.

    @Nawzu -senpai, since you apparently read none of these to the finish...

    @JLawliet , @Paradox , and @Unknowned because I am desperate to be noticed.

    A shout-out to @PaxMilitae and @Nyte , the only two people I can talk lore with... Who are both infinitely smarter than me.

    And another shout-out to @Ozuros , the Forums' newest fanfiction writer. His story, a visit to Grandpa's, isn't the best that I've seen, but the idea interests me.

    Shout-outs to @MrFaiFaiFai , current holder of the title No.1 Noa Lover, @Clockwyrk , as a sort of "welcome back", and to @Trinityz , Lord of Dead Guides, Tyler's Best Friend.

    @Rynaki , because he wants me to add him into a fanfic.

    And finally @Moonsolol , because you asked to have a dolphin for a dick.

    .. Oh, and since I'm writing a fanfic about you guys, I call forth the ancient administrators, @Darulos , @Alex , @Galatea and... @Jiggles ? Strange. no notification showed up for her...Did she delete her account or something or made it private?
    There is a a certain place in a certain time that by all means should not exist, and yet existed, ignoring all known physical laws.

    Where this place is, and when it came to be is of little consequence in our little story today.

    All you need to know is that in that place, in front of a certain grave in a certain cemetery was a turtle.

    This turtle was easily the size of an arena, with legs stronger and thicker than tanks, and a giant tree rooted to its back scraping the nonexistent sky with its enormous leaves. Its scales were a faded green, ancient, withered, yet powerful and its shell was akin to a fortress... A being that some people have come to call "Titan". Truly, the reptile was a mighty beast.

    And yet even this beast had a master.

    Near the top of the giant tree was a single man, silently slumbering under the shade of the great leaves.

    His clothes were seemingly plain, his hair was blonde and wild yet short and his skin was of the lighter colors. Leaning on one of the tree's massive branches was his walking stick. The man looked like a regular traveler..

    And yet, despite his plain facade, the man exuded an aura of power. If any had looked upon him, they would have either been struck with fear or awe. It wasn't that he was tall (he was impressively tall) or appeared strong (he actually looked kinda lanky), but something about him seemed... powerful.

    For a long time, the man was still and unmoving, and the area around him was silent...

    Until he opened a single blue eye, and turned towards the vast emptiness around him.

    "... So he's alive."

    "Been a while since something interesting happened... Might as well greet him."

    The man yawned, stretched and grabbed his walking stick. With slow, carefree steps, he headed towards the head of the Titan Turtle...


    In another area, a large clamor was being spread.

    Crowds of people flocked, some were happy, some were hot-blooded, and some were plain curious.

    "What's going on?", one person asked.

    The other smiled and answered:

    "Galatea's returned?"

    "Galatea? Who's that?"

    His partner pointed at the crowds.

    Following his finger, the person at first saw nothing in the sea of faces... Except for a weird man with a dolphin in between his legs.

    But eventually, he found what he was looking for.

    The man was not small, nor was he a giant, but he was at least half a head above most. A red crown flowed from his head and down to his waist, and though demonic taint was seen on him here and there, that did not change the fact that the man was beautiful. Even without his extravagant clothes, the man could be compared to Helen of Troy, tearing down countries with his beauty... But his most notable feature was not his stature, nor was it hair, nor was it his beauty.

    The person staring at him reeled in shock.

    He felt power radiate off the man like a sun would release heat.

    It was not unlike...

    "...An Administrator?"

    Before he could receive his answer, the earth quaked.

    A panic arose into the less senior members of the crowd as they fled, the more experienced members, however, were unchanged.

    "Well, well, if isn't it the great pretty boy of the multiverse."

    Ignoring the panic that ensued with his arrival, the master of the Titan Turtle sat cross-legged on the head of his favorite reptile, walking staff in one hand, and a burger in the other.

    Before any more could be said, a flash of panic entered their eyes as they heard a horrible sound.

    A large breath of wind was being taken in.

    With a sound far beyond the physical capabilities of human kind, someone yelled:


    The heavens gasped and the land desperately held as a screaming sixteen year old boy leapt at the Titan's master, Darulos. His arms were spread out wide, preparing to embrace the blue-eyed giant.

    But the administrator would have none of that.

    He finished his burger in a single bite, held his favored walking stick with both hands, and with a mighty swing, smashed the boy away from him and towards the beautiful man.

    As soon as the sixteen-year old manic manchild saw what he was heading towards, he took in another large breath of air.


    Whether it was Darulos or someone else who screamed that, it was of little con-


    The scream pierced the heavens and deafened the earth.

    Covering an ear with one hand, the beautiful man, Galatea, raised his spare hand, full of demonic taint and grabbed the boy, pinning him to the ground. The boy promptly fainted.

    "... Well, at least one thing hasn't changed around here, it seems."

    Darulos leaped down, his hearing seemingly unaffected as he greeted his old friend.

    "He hasn't pulled anything like that off in months."

    "Can't blame him, last time I saw him do that, his lungs exploded. Took us a week to get them working properly again."

    "And the rest of our lives to wonder why we even bothered."

    A grand sigh escaped the two administrators, who were totally ignoring their shaken and half-deaf spectators.

    A moment of silence later, Darulos cocks his head.

    "We need to talk. In private."

    An eyebrow raised, Galatea follows him reluctantly.

    As soon as the two were atop the Titan Turtle, Darulos whispered .

    "Is it me or did Moon have a dolphin for a crotch?"

    A wry smile escapes Galatea's mouth.

    "... How?"

    "Don't ask."


    "Don't ask."


    "Do. Not. Ask."

    Darulos laughed a hearty laugh and they began chatting all the way to their destination. They talked of many things, where Glatea had been, what Daru had been doing, the state of the Forums, seemingly everything in the vastness of space. A long time ago, the two would have been nothing more than "Fellow administrators"... Strange, how tragedies bring people together.

    At last, the two stepped foot on the bare ground.

    "This place hasn't changed much, has it?"

    Staring at the gravestones, Galatea followed Darulos as he walked towards a certain tomb.

    Before the tombstone, the blue-eyed man bowed, his giant form casting a giant shadow over the tombstone. Behind him, the beautiful Galatea remained standing, but lowered his head and closed his crimson eyes and scelera in a gesture of respect.

    What little time passed was only seconds. But it appeared to be an eternity before Galatea opened his mouth.

    "Does anyone know..."

    "No. They haven't got a clue. As far as everyone else is concerned, Veramod killed her."


    "-Keep it that way."

    A mighty voice interrupted cut in. The two Administrators snapped their heads to see a man who was neither tall nor short, yet imposing and domineering still. His for was cloaked in a blue robe that really only made his perfect suit stand out even more. His skin was a pale, moon-like white and his hair was midnight black. Hell, if his eyes were red instead of brown, he'd look like a vampire with no fangs.

    Galatea's eyes widened.

    "Alex? The Hells happened to you man?"

    "Many things Gala. Many, many things."

    "We can see that much," Darulos said, "What brings you here anyway? I thought you decided you'd only show up when something big happens. Is it the new Legend candidate?"

    "No. It is not that, though the Dragon God is interesting, she is not why I've returned to you two."

    "Aww... Could our dear Alex have missed me that much?"

    "No I did not miss you, you mega-bishonen straight out of a shoujo manga."

    Darulos chuckled, stood, and shook Alex's hand.

    "Well, well. It looks like the gang''s all together."

    "The Four Horsemen of the Forums. Famine-"


    "-War and Death.", Alex finished.

    The four - no, three Administrators shared a moment of solemn amusement. Galatea was the first to break it.

    "So, what is it that brings you here?"

    Alex's face distorted into a frown.

    "I'll tell you, but first you must tell me when you plan on leaving again."

    "A few days at most; Moon plans on going with me."

    "Speaking of Moon, get that dolphin dick of his fixed."

    "See? Even ALEX wants to know what's up with the dolphin dick."

    "I couldn't get that dolphin dick of his off if Moon himself wanted to get rid of it."

    "If he doesn't do it himself then I'll have to deal with it personally."

    "Please do. It will be much appreciated."

    "Do will be done. Just you wait. That dolphin dick will eventually find itself in the core of a star, being turned into molten slag."

    "Looking forward to it."


    Galatea smiled.

    "So, what was it you came to tell us about?"

    Alex grimaced.

    "We're not gonna like this, are we?"

    "No. You aren't."

    Alex considered his next words carefully, deliberating and predicting the possible effects the following conversation would have on the Forums... and perhaps, existence.

    "The Tenfold Seal. Someone has found it."

    Also, don't expect any explanations on this one, I wrote it on a whim
    Last edited: Mar 12, 2017
    PaxMilitae likes this.
  15. Jaxx

    Jaxx Insignificant Person

    Edmonton, Canada
    The Nekofleetz
    Wait. What the fuck. It didn't save everything I wrote right no... Fucking shit.
  16. Jaxx

    Jaxx Insignificant Person

    Edmonton, Canada
    The Nekofleetz
    Okay. Shit has been fixed. Short story completed. Now, do I work on Robomaid versus Nute first or The Recruitment part 2?
  17. Ozuros

    Ozuros "All you need is Hime" -Ozu 2017

    That moment when I know little of the admins and look too much into their portrayal in the short.
  18. Unknowned

    Unknowned The Part-time UnWhaler

    *pats @Jaxx* you are always noticed little one
    PaxMilitae likes this.
  19. Jaxx

    Jaxx Insignificant Person

    Edmonton, Canada
    The Nekofleetz
    Don't expect them to be anything like the ones in the fanfic. I was honestly just having fun with it.
  20. Jaxx

    Jaxx Insignificant Person

    Edmonton, Canada
    The Nekofleetz
    Thank you Bruncle.

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